When We Do Not Want to Listen

We do strange things.

I may pick up my Blackberry and start scrolling through my UberSocial for Twitter feed.

I may grab a piece of paper and start to write or doodle.

Sometimes I lean back, stare right through the speaker and start to dream. I have an unbelievable imagination. I can think of worlds beyond worlds for days.

What do you do?

More important than what you do however, is why. It seems, when we do not want to listen, we can have strange reasons.

Someone is saying something to you. Setting aside malice and some residual bitterness, why would you not want to hear?

Genuine disinterest?

Maybe they caught you off guard. You were eating ice cream or watching football and they come along demanding, by their topic, some sober emotional investment.

Perhaps the speaker is clearly speaking to himself, about herself, for himself and with herself – with no care for your understanding, agreement or input.

Sometimes we just don’t trust the speaker. “That pastor is faking that whispering voice,” we think, ignoring the entire sermon.

Often, our hearts are elsewhere…the beach.

And sometimes “I just refuse to listen because I (think I) already understand the issue.”

There are lessons here for speakers and for listeners.

For disappointed emo-seeking girlfriends with exasperated emo-phobic boyfriends.

The question: speaker or listener (parent or child, boyfriend or girlfriend) – whose duty is it to close the deficit?

Posted with WordPress for BlackBerry.

What do you do when you don’t want to listen?





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