Why Social Media May Be A Godsend For Guys Who Love Shy Girls
The alpha male types will always boast of how easily they can approach and speak to any women “in real life.” How they know the mind of a woman. How suave and unafraid they are, no matter the girl. Chino (of Yendi Phillips fame) even has a song on it:
[media url=”http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Picgj30s9jg” width=”600″ height=”400″ jwplayer=”controlbar=bottom”]
Well, not everyone is as gifted as Chino (*insert Asafa Powell joke*). On both the male and female end, there can be unending bumbling over words, palms that sweat like rivers – you name it. Some people just struggle at interacting with people of the opposite sex they find attractive.
If you’ve been having trouble trying to connect to some female because she seems ultra shy when you are around, you may want to build the connection digitally first.
Women Share A Lot More Through Social Media
University of Leicester researcher, Dr Ruth Page, did an extensive (and interesting) study on how we use social media.
She found that there is a consistent difference in how women and men express themselves in socialmedia sites such as Facebook and blogs, with women tending to disclose more about emotional topics and write about these in a more expressive way, for example with more emoticons, kisses and unconventional typography.
Essentially, women are incredibly expressive online. They use very “’expressive language’ on Facebook (for example, for emphasis or to project friendliness).” As a member of Leicester’s Department of English, Dr. Page’s findings on how to interpret the language use of women in social media is significant.
The study is published by Routledge as part of the Routledge Studies in Sociolinguistics series.
So Now What Do You Do?
If you are having difficulties with “real life” communication, maybe you can try the subtler way first. Here are some tips though:
1. Please do not stalk.
Do not do anything illegal, unethical, annoying, excessive, intrusive, invasive, disgusting, repulsive or desperate.
Do not just popping up out of nowhere: try to make the connection in “real life”, before sending requests to Facebook.
Do not overreach: Facebook/Twitter relationships first. Then we may advance to Google Talk/MSN. Video (Skype) is wayyyy last.
2. Please do not over-interpret.
Yes, the study says women are more expressive, using more emoticons, and so forth to express friendship and other feelings. Still, a “lol,” or even a “LOL” (or even combination “LOL, LOL ROFL”) does not make you her Eddie Murphy. A smiley face does not equal “she really loves me”.
3. Please be open to new webperiences (web experiences)
If she wants to chat via Google Talk, and not MSN, is it really so hard for you to sign up with Gmail?
4. Please be consistent and real.
The aim of the online interaction is to help you both overcome your inhibitions, fears, doubts and the rest. You have to make time to chat, email, skype whatever it is, when she can. Further…
5. Please be present and real.
You cannot just show up – you have to show UP – mentally! Even if do not love chatting online as much as she does.
6. Please be patient (but not too much).
Allow the web to weave something real. When you guys have shared enough digital jokes – grow some, and approach the girl in real life.
All the best!
Well what do you think? Please share.