Category Archives: Heart

Raise Your Hands If You Want Long Lasting Love!

My grandparents have been married for 68 years. When they got married in 1943 Jamaica – everything was different. They didn’t even have wedding cake. According to my grandma – who is now a beautiful girl of 92 years – the “wedding cake” was actually a huge bread.

Not my grandparents but, you get the point.

On their 68th wedding anniversary, over the recent Christmas holidays, my Grandpa shared something I found hilarious, but thought provoking. Recalling the day of the wedding, he said:

“The pastor asked me, Do you love her?”

I said, “Yes Parson”.

“He asked me, Do you plan to love her all your life?

I said, “Yes Parson.”

At that time I didn’t have a clue how long it would be.

It turned out to be 68 years. That’s almost three times my lifespan.

Everything Changed

They started loving at the tail of the Second World War; before satellite, cable, and direct TV; before the American Civil Rights Movement; before the internet; before cellular phones; before popular cars and gadgets – and more.

They started out in Jamaica some 18 years before its Independence and are still in love today, in New York, some 50 years after (Jamaica’s Independence).

They loved when they were newlywed and childless. They loved when they had just shy of a dozen children. They are still in love with everyone grown, and with grand and great grand children around.

Don’t Politicize Love

I like girls and the temptation of youth is, naturally, to maximize all options, indefinitely. There is however something much more alluring about “the girl”. A single solitary girl. Forget it being “right” or “wrong,” “Christian” or “Non-Christian,” “legal” or “illegal.” What if we not make it our first approach to sell monogamy as moral, but to encourage faithful love to one person because when it lasts, it is beautiful?

To be faithful. To endure. To be true. To work at one thing. To stay with it during seasons of plowing, plant, picking, right through to the processing, packaging, and promoting. To build a strong, unshakeable and majestic thing with your own hands from nothing. That is beautiful.

Maybe if it weren’t so rare, it wouldn’t be so hard to sell.

Are Girls Who Had Sex Early Doomed to Divorce Later On?

A pretty odd (and perhaps insensitive) question right? Well, having read the findings of a University of Iowa study directly linking teen sex to divorces, the question is worth considering. If you are a female who had sex for the first time before age 16, you may want to read this. 

Is this true?

Here is something to make you lose your breakfast: “31 percent of women who had sex for the first time as teens divorced within five years, and 47 percent divorced within 10 years.”  But, everybody is getting divorced these days, right? Apparently not, “The divorce rate for women who delayed sex until adulthood was far lower: 15 percent at five years, and 27 percent at 10 years.” Continue reading Are Girls Who Had Sex Early Doomed to Divorce Later On?

The Problem With The “Do What You Love” Way of Life

You know the list – run a marathon, write a book, do a MBA, work at so and so, travel to France, start your own business and so forth. Should you make an effort to do that unending list of things that “they” claim will make you happy, successful, accomplished?

Eric Karjaluoto, the writer of the article “Forget Self-Improvement,”  argues very eloquently that perhaps you shouldn’t. Karjaluto makes a compelling argument for the already compelling idea of abandoning a life of doing unpleasant things you don’t love, to do things you truly love. Continue reading The Problem With The “Do What You Love” Way of Life

Having Trouble Sleeping? You Could Be Feeling Lonely.

Most of us are cranky, short-fused and as slow as a 300 lb intoxicated tortoise when we miss our sleep. Why else do you think the world drank as much as 136.2 million bags of coffee in 2011? Unless you are a vampire or Optimus Prime, you definitely need a solid night’s sleep to function well.

You never really appreciate how important sleep is however, until you stop getting it (or stop getting the good kind). If you are in that boat, research carried out by Lianne Kurina, PhD, at the Department of Health Studies at the University of Chicago, says your troubles may be because you are feeling lonely. In fact, the lonelier you feel, the more fragmented your sleep will be. Continue reading Having Trouble Sleeping? You Could Be Feeling Lonely.