You know what’s really frustrating? When you have a good thing going, but somehow things coming from the outside keeping getting in the way.
Ladies, sometimes you are not the source of the discomfort in a relationship. Sometimes it’s everyone else around you, everyone close to you; in particular though– best friends and the ex need to be controlled. Where you allow them to have their way and seem afraid, timid, unsure of whether our relationship is a priority, we have a major problem.
Here are 5 ways how it often happens:
1. You Allow Your Friends To Crowd-In
You don’t see or make any real distinction between time spent with all your friends together, including the man, and time spent with just you and the guy together. It’s all the same.
- Your best friends want all your spare time
- We spend very little time alone because you are always with them
- Whenever we invite you out, they are almost automatically invited
2. You Allow Your Friends To Cloud The Issues
How do you expect to resolve any problems when you lean fully on the opinions of someone who has always been single, or another who has never been in a relationship longer than a week, or who doesn’t even like men? It’s like my teacher who told a joke about how much trouble she had dating because her mom told her never to trust a man who wears white shoes.
3. You Tell Your Friends All Our (meaning MY) Business
The very basis of you knowing anything about each other is that you share a close bond of trust. Now why do you have to go tell the girls about the problems he’s having at work, or what he spends his money on or his deepest secrets that he confessed to you in a moment of closeness?
A Whole Different Breed of Issues
4. Best Friend Is a Guy
It’s possible, but it gets pretty suspicious when he’s single, obviously into women, and you two liked each other once, but things didn’t work out.
5. You have an Angry, Possessive Ex – And You Dither
Around age 17 I met a girl. Everything was idyllic, until one night when I called; in a breathless rush all she said before hanging up the phone was “let me call you back.” The later explanation involved something about “I’m just not sure,” “my ex-boyfriend is angry,” “I really like you Andrew,” “he’s a policeman”, “I want you and I to work,”…“or solider” – I can’t recall exactly but it was certainly enough to strike the fear of pain in, and the ‘like’ of her out.
Two Points About Friends
As Long As We Are Only Allowed the Benefits of One Woman at a Time, Then We Only Want The Opinion of One Woman at a Time.
This is where I put my foot down on the wisdom of the common law; the benefit and the burden must run together (Halsall v Brizell  Ch 169). We signed up for YOUR complexities, quirks and idiosyncrasies. We signed up for the task of meeting your likes and dislikes. We did not sign up for your crazy friend’s point of view, on every issue.
You Can’t Have Your Cake and Eat It
Science actually proves it – love costs us on average two friends. There’s just not enough time to cultivate so many relationships. If the study is right about the average then it means those who try to cling to everybody, and more, are maladjusted. You can’t always have both the glory days of “the gang” all the time, and the glory days of love and relationship – in the same way.
Strive for the greatest degree of balance in life, but always remember where your priorities are. Feeling like you’re losing a friend is hard on everybody – so THINK about how you are going to strike the balance (long before the situations arise).