Women everywhere are deadly afraid of gaining weight and its primarily because they assume men will perceive them negatively.
How much though does an extra pound of fat on your belly or body really weigh on a man’s brain? What is the real problem with the big belly (or body) girl?
What Do Men Really Think About Fat?
There is plenty to suggest slimmer women are more attractive. Consider:
- Every major music video, movie, advertisement. Most of the Miss Universe girls have ridiculously chiseled abs.
- Widely reported scientific research have found that
What about the flip-side?
As LaTonya rightly argued on my Facebook wall yesterday, “Well some guys like “big belly girl”… some like women with a little flesh.”
The Problem Is Not With Fat
1. Men already know you’re going to get fat anyway – it’s a given.
One of the secrets of guys have is to look at a girl’s mom. The idea being that the girl will pretty much end up the same size. Try it and you’ll recognize that unless she exerts tremendous energy (and is perhaps single), moms are usually a bit cushioned.
2. Fat can’t be the only issue if, as research shows, men look primarily at a woman’s face when determining long term relationships, as opposed to her body.
3. Also, you all know a girl with a belly pudgier than yours, who wears 3 sizes more than you, whose boyfriend adores her.
The problem is not just fat.
What Then Is The Real Problem
These are the real complaints, from real guys that I’ve heard all my life, as well as what I’ve observed:
Girls Who Choose The Wrong Guys
1. Any guy who invests energy on his own appearance will care about yours.
It is illogical to think that a guy who works out every day, watches what he eats, is conscious of how his clothes fit and his whole appearance, is somehow not going to notice the huge contrast.
2. The image and lifestyle of a man’s circle of associates and friends should tell you something early.
Young professional socialite guys in any city, who attend regular black ties, networking cocktails and want Miss Universe lookalikes that they can show off at all times. Those guys and their circle of associates are essentially, ‘trophy wife’ seeking guys, with ‘trophy wife’ seeking friends. They will always care about weight. (edited after publication).
3. There is something unfair in a girl who expects a man to take care of his body while she neglects hers.
I remember a few years ago while coming from the gym, a girl who was bursting at the seams ran her hand on my stomach and asked in disappointment “Oh no, where are the abs?”
I couldn’t believe it. I just politely answered but all the while I was thinking to myself “Where are my abs? Where is your chin?”
Hey! She started it. Don’t dish what you won’t eat.
Girls Who Have The Wrong Attitude
4. Fat girls who are so super-conscious of their weight, that it becomes an elephant in the room.
It’s like (true story) a girl you think is gorgeous who scolds you like a child when you, in error, touch the jiggly-jiggly back part of her arm.
“Don’t touch me there – I hate when people touch me there.”
Yikes! The awkwardness and fright will be remembered long after the jiggly fat is forgotten.
5. How can you be mad with the guy for not being able to do the impossible? (Like lift you up and twirl you around like a princess.)
The wrong expectations of the wrong guys and her own wrong attitude – those are the real problems with fat girls. I don’t think fat is the decisive factor in whether a girl finds happiness however. I think fat girls can be with whoever they choose if they adopt these four principles from Miss Kitty. (inserted after publication)
4 Reasons Why Men Love Miss Kitty
For those who don’t know, Miss Kitty is a Jamaican radio personality who, comparable to American actress Monique, has embraced her weight. Rejecting the label “fat,” she calls herself “fluffy.”
First, The Problem with Miss Kitty
As great a word as “Fluffy” is – the article FAT is not SEXY, goes into detail about how weight affects everything from life expectancy, self image to sexual performance and experience. It’s a serious issue.
Men Still Love Kitty
Still, Miss Kitty, Mo’Nique and many women like them across the globe, get a lot of love and attention. How? What’s the appeal? Essentially, I’m asking – how can you ensure that you are not the problematic kind of fat girl?
1. Miss Kitty Knows She’s Fat
Accepting who you are, is the first step in allowing others to accept you.
2. Miss Kitty Loves Herself
If you think you’re fat and ugly, I guarantee somebody will agree with you.
3. Miss Kitty Exudes Confidence and Personality
“I’m a thick girl – that’s how I come” is what a girl I really liked told me once, when I mentioned her belly. Amazingly that was the end of the issue for me – in an instant, her confidence had won me.
4. Miss Kitty has worked out the details of how to dress for her size, and does it well.
Having said all that, you must still remember that men are moved by what they see (positively and negatively). Learn to dress to fit your size. Those maternity blouses that make people ask you “how far along are you” are not cute.
While fat is a turn off to some guys, the real problem with fat and big belly girls who:
- Have the wrong attitude or expectations. Notice I didn’t say the problem was high expectations – PLEASE don’t think I am saying fat women should lower their expectations. I am saying that what a man will expect from you is something you can tell ahead of time.
- Dislike their bodies so much that they don’t allow themselves to be loved. We’re all following your cue.
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